I don't know what it is about the progesterone suppositories but I have crazy pimples on my back again! I had this in December when I was on the suppositories after the IUI and it just seemed so gross and it took forever to go away. I didn't have any pimples on my back with the PIO.... what's the deal with that!?
It doesn't help that soon it will be tank top weather and people will have to see my back unless I want to wear a poncho all summer and sweat like a best... yeah, that's not going to happen. I can't use any acne medication that has salicylic acid because I am pregnant so I'll have to find something else that's natural to try and get rid of those things! grrr.
Oh hormones. The toll you take on our body is just crazy!
Showing posts with label Meds. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Meds. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
Adios PIO Shot, Hola Suppositories!
Saturday night was our last PIO shot. Our last shot should have been Thursday but we wanted to finish up the vial we had... after all, we shelled out a butt load of money for it so we wanted to use it up. I checked with the nurse and she said that is totally fine and that a lot of patients do this, which makes sense because we're nervous and want to do the most of what's working. Changing things up can be scary.
I was thinking about each kind and the pros and cons that go with each.
PIO Shot:
Pro:
In your system immediately
What we've been doing since the ER
Con:
Long needle that goes in your hind area- Ouch
Has to be at the same time every night- causing you plan around it
Made me have to lie on my stomach (couldn't do it standing) and I didn't like the pressure it put on my bloat
Progesterone Suppositories:
Pro:
You can do this at night when you to go bed and when you're about to wake up- a little more flexibility
They don't hurt
I don't have to lie on my stomach
Con:
They are messy- you have to wear a pad pretty much all the time
The little package is hard to open in the morning with your sleepy hands
They are expensive!
I was thinking about each kind and the pros and cons that go with each.
PIO Shot:
Pro:
In your system immediately
What we've been doing since the ER
Con:
Long needle that goes in your hind area- Ouch
Has to be at the same time every night- causing you plan around it
Made me have to lie on my stomach (couldn't do it standing) and I didn't like the pressure it put on my bloat
Progesterone Suppositories:
Pro:
You can do this at night when you to go bed and when you're about to wake up- a little more flexibility
They don't hurt
I don't have to lie on my stomach
Con:
They are messy- you have to wear a pad pretty much all the time
The little package is hard to open in the morning with your sleepy hands
They are expensive!
Friday, March 2, 2012
Our first IM shot... the trigger
I'm not trying to be dramatic when I tell you that I thought I was going to faint when my husband gave me the Nov.arel trigger shot using the 1 and a half inch needle. As the time grew nearer my stomach started turning and I got butterflies and literally felt light headed. I roamed in and out of the kitchen as JT mixed and prepared the meds. I walked in and saw the size of the needle and immediately scurried to the living room. I couldn't believe THAT was going to go in my upper/outer ass. Seriously? Ouch!
JT told me he was ready and expected me to come to to the kitchen and stand up like I had done with our Men.opur shots. No Way Jose! I did not trust myself to stand up with that and not faint to the ground or tense up and give myself more pain than needed. So when I told him to come into the living room he chuckled as he saw me lying flat on my stomach on the couch.
He asked what side, and I told him I didn't care, just do it and get it over with. He kept saying, "ok, are you ready?" "Ok, I'm gonna do it...."
Meanwhile I have my head pretty much in my armpit with my arms over my head and I'm trying hard to relax while shouting "Just do it, don't tell me when, just go for it!"
And then he did it.
Wait, that was it?
It really didn't hurt.
He mumbled something about there being no blood and then pushed the meds in.
It was over before I knew it even started.
Phew! I'm so glad that is over with because after the transfer we'll be doing IM progesterone shots and now I know that I won't faint and that it's really not that bad.
Stupid anticipation making everything worse than it is! I feel like this whole process has been filled with the horrible feeling of anticipation, because it is, we've never done this before. Once you do it for the first time it's like "Ok, we got this!" and relief sets in.
Today, I'm hanging out, getting the house ready for after the retrieval. I'm hoping to feel ok, but you never know. I'm the kind of person who prepares for the worse just in case! I'd rather be ready to be on the couch longer than expected than think I can just bounce back and be stressed that the house is a mess.
We go in for the ER first thing in the morning. I'll keep you all posted. Thanks for the continued love and support, you make me smile so big and I want to hug each and every one of you!
JT told me he was ready and expected me to come to to the kitchen and stand up like I had done with our Men.opur shots. No Way Jose! I did not trust myself to stand up with that and not faint to the ground or tense up and give myself more pain than needed. So when I told him to come into the living room he chuckled as he saw me lying flat on my stomach on the couch.
He asked what side, and I told him I didn't care, just do it and get it over with. He kept saying, "ok, are you ready?" "Ok, I'm gonna do it...."
Meanwhile I have my head pretty much in my armpit with my arms over my head and I'm trying hard to relax while shouting "Just do it, don't tell me when, just go for it!"
And then he did it.
Wait, that was it?
It really didn't hurt.
He mumbled something about there being no blood and then pushed the meds in.
It was over before I knew it even started.
Phew! I'm so glad that is over with because after the transfer we'll be doing IM progesterone shots and now I know that I won't faint and that it's really not that bad.
Stupid anticipation making everything worse than it is! I feel like this whole process has been filled with the horrible feeling of anticipation, because it is, we've never done this before. Once you do it for the first time it's like "Ok, we got this!" and relief sets in.
Today, I'm hanging out, getting the house ready for after the retrieval. I'm hoping to feel ok, but you never know. I'm the kind of person who prepares for the worse just in case! I'd rather be ready to be on the couch longer than expected than think I can just bounce back and be stressed that the house is a mess.
We go in for the ER first thing in the morning. I'll keep you all posted. Thanks for the continued love and support, you make me smile so big and I want to hug each and every one of you!
Monday, February 27, 2012
Update on the Lupron
The nurse called and said I should be fine but reminded me to do the correct dose tomorrow... uh, yeah, now I'll be checking doses all the time. Silly husband. Thanks for your words on my early morning post today. You guys rock and keep me sane during this crazy, crazy ride.
I have blood work and ultra sound tomorrow anyway, so we'll see what they say.
On another note, I am completely aware of my ovaries today. I can feel them as I sit and move and laugh. What weird feeling to have.
I have blood work and ultra sound tomorrow anyway, so we'll see what they say.
On another note, I am completely aware of my ovaries today. I can feel them as I sit and move and laugh. What weird feeling to have.
Giving the wrong dose for two days. Great.
I have this calendar that I write things on when the nurse calls. I keep track of the dosage and what meds in each box and write in when my next monitoring appointment is.
My husband was away for work last Wednesday when I had a monitoring appointment and they dropped my Lup.ron from 10 to 5. I wrote it on the calendar and I specifically remember telling him on the phone.
He hasn't had to give me the Lup.ron shot for almost a week and yesterday and today he gave them to me while I was still in bed. This morning when I was pushing in the dose it seemed much more than 5 and so I turned and said "This is 5 right?" He looked confused and said "No, it's 10." I then reminded him that they changed my dose, that I told him, and I wrote it on our calendar, which is on top of the microwave...
So this means yesterday I also got a dose of 10 units instead of 5. I'm trying hard to not be mad at my husband because it was an honest mistake on his part. He says he really doesn't remember me telling him about the change because he was away on work and had other things on his mind... But, this is exactly why I write everything on the calendar and why he should check it now and again. It is hard to keep track of everything.
So, now I have to call the RE and tell them I've been given the wrong dose for 2 days. I hope it doesn't mess things up too badly. I'm sure it won't, but I'm annoyed that things just can't go smoothly. I feel like I should know this by now... that things never work out according to plan but somehow, in the back of mind, I feel like one day things should click and just work the way we want them to because we have had so many months where they don't work out and I figure we're due for a change by now, but of course the universe is here to remind me whose boss. (wow, that's a long sentence.)
My husband was away for work last Wednesday when I had a monitoring appointment and they dropped my Lup.ron from 10 to 5. I wrote it on the calendar and I specifically remember telling him on the phone.
He hasn't had to give me the Lup.ron shot for almost a week and yesterday and today he gave them to me while I was still in bed. This morning when I was pushing in the dose it seemed much more than 5 and so I turned and said "This is 5 right?" He looked confused and said "No, it's 10." I then reminded him that they changed my dose, that I told him, and I wrote it on our calendar, which is on top of the microwave...
So this means yesterday I also got a dose of 10 units instead of 5. I'm trying hard to not be mad at my husband because it was an honest mistake on his part. He says he really doesn't remember me telling him about the change because he was away on work and had other things on his mind... But, this is exactly why I write everything on the calendar and why he should check it now and again. It is hard to keep track of everything.
So, now I have to call the RE and tell them I've been given the wrong dose for 2 days. I hope it doesn't mess things up too badly. I'm sure it won't, but I'm annoyed that things just can't go smoothly. I feel like I should know this by now... that things never work out according to plan but somehow, in the back of mind, I feel like one day things should click and just work the way we want them to because we have had so many months where they don't work out and I figure we're due for a change by now, but of course the universe is here to remind me whose boss. (wow, that's a long sentence.)
Sunday, February 26, 2012
I freaked out over nothing
The Men.opur shot was definitely Subq and not IM like I had thought. Phew! When the nurse told me the location to give this shot my mind instantly went to IM and I freaked out -internally of course! After I hung up with the nurse we looked through our box of goodies and looked at the needle size she said to use (either 1/2 or 5/8) and JT said that was not long enough to be IM. Regardless I still tweeted and asked questions and everyone responded with it being subq... hmm that made me wonder some more. Duh, I should have realized this buuut it's the first time we're going through this so I didn't know.
When JT put the mixture together and screwed on the tip and I saw that it was the same size of the Gon.al-F needle I felt relieved. The relief only lasted so long because then I saw the amount of liquid that was supposed to go into my backside. We were in the kitchen and I leaned against the fridge while he put the needle in. It took awhile as he pushed the plunger down slowly. There was some burning and after there was some aching in the area. I massaged it and stretched and had to do this for the next 20 or so minutes.
I also started drinking Gatorade. I'm drinking as much water as I can but I still don't feel like it's enough because when I go to the bathroom (TMI coming) it's a darker yellow. I'm hoping the Gatorade will replenish my body and also keep the bloating that is soon to come at bay.
I go in Tuesday for blood work and ultrasound. We'll see what's coming next!
When JT put the mixture together and screwed on the tip and I saw that it was the same size of the Gon.al-F needle I felt relieved. The relief only lasted so long because then I saw the amount of liquid that was supposed to go into my backside. We were in the kitchen and I leaned against the fridge while he put the needle in. It took awhile as he pushed the plunger down slowly. There was some burning and after there was some aching in the area. I massaged it and stretched and had to do this for the next 20 or so minutes.
I also started drinking Gatorade. I'm drinking as much water as I can but I still don't feel like it's enough because when I go to the bathroom (TMI coming) it's a darker yellow. I'm hoping the Gatorade will replenish my body and also keep the bloating that is soon to come at bay.
I go in Tuesday for blood work and ultrasound. We'll see what's coming next!
Saturday, February 25, 2012
It's official: I'm a pin cushion!
Got up bright and early this morning to head to the clinic and get my blood work done. It was actually nice to be out on the road so early on a Saturday morning because there was no out there. It was just me, the road, the sunrise and Adele.
It was my first time going on a Saturday to this clinic. I've had monitoring on a Sunday before but had to go to a different clinic because the one I typically go to isn't open on Sundays. Anyway, the nurse I usually see, the one who knows me by name wasn't there. Instead there was this older woman, with an accent. (I have nothing against accents, I actually love them and talk in random ones at home- which makes my husband die laughing) I mention the accent thing so you can picture what I'm about to say better. She was very quick and cold with me. She took awhile to get started because she was messing around with something on the counter and then when she was ready she moved quickly and was out the door with a barely audible "goodbye" It kind of annoyed me. I am thankful that I've never met her before because I would not look forward to going to monitoring if I had her every time. The people I usually deal with have a personality and are nice. This lady wasn't. I mean, sure something could have happened that started her day off on the wrong foot, but that shouldn't change how polite and nice you are at this kind of clinic.
Anyway, I went food shopping after and had this great plan to be super productive this morning. However, my body had other plans for me. As I was shopping I started to get mild cramps and back ache again. By the time I got home I just wanted to get into bed without dealing with the unloading of the bags and putting the food away. (I hate that part). I climbed into bed after and curled up in the fetal position. I fell asleep for a little bit but was woken up an hour later with super intense pain. I went down to the couch where my heating pad is and put it on the highest setting. I was stuck on the couch until about noon time. I wanted to cry or throw up because my back and cramps hurt so bad. I don't know what the meds I'm on is doing to my endometriosis but I don't like it one bit. It's day 3 of my cycle and I've never had this intense pain on CD 3 before... usually it goes away by CD 2. It's hurting me and I just want to be able to move around like a normal person. I took some pain reliever but that didn't do anything. Finally, it subsided and I'm able to be up and moving again but I know it will come back later day.
The nurse called me and told me to start Men.opur. Which means I am now on 3 injections a day. Lup.ron in the morning and Gon.al-F and Men.opur at night. Holy crap. I'm officially a pin cushion between these shots and getting my blood work done. I'm nervous for the Men.opur because it'sintramuscular.It was totally subq. I know it will be fine once we get the first one out of the way, but still... it makes my heart pound just thinking about it. Any tips or tricks you have would be great!
It was my first time going on a Saturday to this clinic. I've had monitoring on a Sunday before but had to go to a different clinic because the one I typically go to isn't open on Sundays. Anyway, the nurse I usually see, the one who knows me by name wasn't there. Instead there was this older woman, with an accent. (I have nothing against accents, I actually love them and talk in random ones at home- which makes my husband die laughing) I mention the accent thing so you can picture what I'm about to say better. She was very quick and cold with me. She took awhile to get started because she was messing around with something on the counter and then when she was ready she moved quickly and was out the door with a barely audible "goodbye" It kind of annoyed me. I am thankful that I've never met her before because I would not look forward to going to monitoring if I had her every time. The people I usually deal with have a personality and are nice. This lady wasn't. I mean, sure something could have happened that started her day off on the wrong foot, but that shouldn't change how polite and nice you are at this kind of clinic.
Anyway, I went food shopping after and had this great plan to be super productive this morning. However, my body had other plans for me. As I was shopping I started to get mild cramps and back ache again. By the time I got home I just wanted to get into bed without dealing with the unloading of the bags and putting the food away. (I hate that part). I climbed into bed after and curled up in the fetal position. I fell asleep for a little bit but was woken up an hour later with super intense pain. I went down to the couch where my heating pad is and put it on the highest setting. I was stuck on the couch until about noon time. I wanted to cry or throw up because my back and cramps hurt so bad. I don't know what the meds I'm on is doing to my endometriosis but I don't like it one bit. It's day 3 of my cycle and I've never had this intense pain on CD 3 before... usually it goes away by CD 2. It's hurting me and I just want to be able to move around like a normal person. I took some pain reliever but that didn't do anything. Finally, it subsided and I'm able to be up and moving again but I know it will come back later day.
The nurse called me and told me to start Men.opur. Which means I am now on 3 injections a day. Lup.ron in the morning and Gon.al-F and Men.opur at night. Holy crap. I'm officially a pin cushion between these shots and getting my blood work done. I'm nervous for the Men.opur because it's
Friday, February 24, 2012
Playing catch up!
This week has been just so crazy. I haven't had time to read about what is going on with you ladies on blogs or on twitter. I feel out of the loop. This week I was sick with this annoying head cold which is still not completely gone from my body.
Sunday I was sneezing my face off, which was crazy annoying, but was a clue to me that something was coming because I hardly ever sneeze like that. Monday morning I woke up feeling tired but that is how I typically wake up so I thought nothing of it. By 10 am I felt like a bag of crap.... I contemplated canceling my tutoring session but knew I wouldn't feel like making it up later on in the week so I went. I did, however, cancel my counseling session which I needed so badly to go to, but I was so tired and my head weighed what felt like 100 pounds. I just wanted to go to bed. It was all I could to do stay awake. I got home around 5:20 and plopped right on the couch. I was in bed by 8pm that night. This feeling like crap thing continued into Tuesday and I was in bed and sleeping by 8pm that night as well. Wednesday I felt a bit better but my mom came over for dinner and a movie so there was no way I was going to catch up on things... and here are on Friday. I'm finally on vacation from work (we have a February break here in New England).
I don't think I've written about the fact that I have given myself a few injections, which is a huge deal! I am so worried that I'll faint (I'm a weirdo and faint with weird things) and I know it worries my husband as well, so I never tried to inject myself... I had no choice but to give myself an injection because my husband had to be at work much earlier than my scheduled Lup.ron shot. Since last Saturday I've given myself 3 injections. Today I actually did it standing up, instead of sitting down! Yay!
Last week they told me that I would go in for monitoring either on CD 1 or Wednesday... and Wednesday it was because CD 1 didn't show up until yesterday. I got a call from the nurse telling me to start Gonal.F and do 150 units which is much more than the 37.5 units I had with the IUI. They also wanted me to go down from 10 units to 5 for Lup.ron. I go in tomorrow for blood work and we'll see where we go from there. Right now the estimated date for my ER is March 4 or 5th.
Yesterday I got the worst cramps and back ache, I knew what was coming... AF. She showed up but in a light fashion. I have read that women on Lup.ron get a shorter, lighter period so I was hoping that would be the case for me... well today, I am in still in so much pain with the cramps and back ache and I've had the heaviest flow that I can ever remember. I've had clotting and everything else has been bright red. I've had to use so many tampons and pads for extra protection. It's annoying!
I'm off to get caught up on my blog reading. Happy Weekend Friends!
Sunday I was sneezing my face off, which was crazy annoying, but was a clue to me that something was coming because I hardly ever sneeze like that. Monday morning I woke up feeling tired but that is how I typically wake up so I thought nothing of it. By 10 am I felt like a bag of crap.... I contemplated canceling my tutoring session but knew I wouldn't feel like making it up later on in the week so I went. I did, however, cancel my counseling session which I needed so badly to go to, but I was so tired and my head weighed what felt like 100 pounds. I just wanted to go to bed. It was all I could to do stay awake. I got home around 5:20 and plopped right on the couch. I was in bed by 8pm that night. This feeling like crap thing continued into Tuesday and I was in bed and sleeping by 8pm that night as well. Wednesday I felt a bit better but my mom came over for dinner and a movie so there was no way I was going to catch up on things... and here are on Friday. I'm finally on vacation from work (we have a February break here in New England).
I don't think I've written about the fact that I have given myself a few injections, which is a huge deal! I am so worried that I'll faint (I'm a weirdo and faint with weird things) and I know it worries my husband as well, so I never tried to inject myself... I had no choice but to give myself an injection because my husband had to be at work much earlier than my scheduled Lup.ron shot. Since last Saturday I've given myself 3 injections. Today I actually did it standing up, instead of sitting down! Yay!
Last week they told me that I would go in for monitoring either on CD 1 or Wednesday... and Wednesday it was because CD 1 didn't show up until yesterday. I got a call from the nurse telling me to start Gonal.F and do 150 units which is much more than the 37.5 units I had with the IUI. They also wanted me to go down from 10 units to 5 for Lup.ron. I go in tomorrow for blood work and we'll see where we go from there. Right now the estimated date for my ER is March 4 or 5th.
Yesterday I got the worst cramps and back ache, I knew what was coming... AF. She showed up but in a light fashion. I have read that women on Lup.ron get a shorter, lighter period so I was hoping that would be the case for me... well today, I am in still in so much pain with the cramps and back ache and I've had the heaviest flow that I can ever remember. I've had clotting and everything else has been bright red. I've had to use so many tampons and pads for extra protection. It's annoying!
I'm off to get caught up on my blog reading. Happy Weekend Friends!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Happy Valentine's Day My Sweets
I hope you are all receiving a little extra love because we know we all need it now and again!
This morning was my first Lup.ron shot and I didn't like how it went. I was expecting to not feel a thing because the needle is an insulin needle which is much thinner than what I had last time. Well, it did prick and the liquid hurt going in. There was a burning sensation. Immediately after I had pain at and around the injection site. It felt like I did a million crunches using just those muscles. We did the shot at 7:15 AM. My RE wants us to do them at the same time every morning. I continued getting ready and it still hurt. I was rubbing the area, over my shirt, to try and loosen it up... you know, what you do when you get the flu shot in your arm. It didn't help.
I got to work around 7:50 and called my mom who is a nurse because I wanted her opinion on the pain that I was feeling before I freaked out and called my RE. She asked me a few questions:
Did it itch?- Yes
Was it hot?- Yes
Was it red/pink? .... I hadn't even looked and when I did I saw a good sized oval of pink spreading out around the injection site.
My mom then instructed me to draw, with a sharpie, around the redness and check to see if it is growing. It still hurt and the pain didn't go away until probably 9. The redness disappeared and I was left with the shape of what looks like Australia on my stomach. I called my RE's office around 1pm because I thought they should know that this was what I was experiencing. They of course told me this was "normal" and to call back in the next few days if it gets worse as time goes on.
If I get a red rash every single day and outline it to watch if it grows I'm going to look like a globe with all these weird shapes on my belly!
This morning was my first Lup.ron shot and I didn't like how it went. I was expecting to not feel a thing because the needle is an insulin needle which is much thinner than what I had last time. Well, it did prick and the liquid hurt going in. There was a burning sensation. Immediately after I had pain at and around the injection site. It felt like I did a million crunches using just those muscles. We did the shot at 7:15 AM. My RE wants us to do them at the same time every morning. I continued getting ready and it still hurt. I was rubbing the area, over my shirt, to try and loosen it up... you know, what you do when you get the flu shot in your arm. It didn't help.
I got to work around 7:50 and called my mom who is a nurse because I wanted her opinion on the pain that I was feeling before I freaked out and called my RE. She asked me a few questions:
Did it itch?- Yes
Was it hot?- Yes
Was it red/pink? .... I hadn't even looked and when I did I saw a good sized oval of pink spreading out around the injection site.
My mom then instructed me to draw, with a sharpie, around the redness and check to see if it is growing. It still hurt and the pain didn't go away until probably 9. The redness disappeared and I was left with the shape of what looks like Australia on my stomach. I called my RE's office around 1pm because I thought they should know that this was what I was experiencing. They of course told me this was "normal" and to call back in the next few days if it gets worse as time goes on.
If I get a red rash every single day and outline it to watch if it grows I'm going to look like a globe with all these weird shapes on my belly!
Monday, February 13, 2012
Baseline Blood Work
I went this morning for my baseline blood work and I am not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing but when the nurse saw me she knew my name and told me to head back to lab and that she'd be right down.... I'll be seeing a lot more of her in the next few weeks so I guess I like that she knows me!
I got the call from the nurse at 1pm today to start 10 units of Lupron tomorrow morning. We are to administer the shot at the same time every morning. This shot should be a breeze as the needle looks so thin!
Also, don't forget to link up at my Share the Love meme in celebration of Valentine's Day!
I got the call from the nurse at 1pm today to start 10 units of Lupron tomorrow morning. We are to administer the shot at the same time every morning. This shot should be a breeze as the needle looks so thin!
Also, don't forget to link up at my Share the Love meme in celebration of Valentine's Day!
Sunday, February 5, 2012
We got our Meds!
Our meds came in the mail! woo hoo! You can imagine how many different things we had. I've never seen or had that many prescriptions at once. I don't feel too overwhelmed with knowing the timing of the meds because I know this is a one thing at a time kind of process. I've become very excited about this cycle starting and have been counting down the days.
We have:
2 Gonal-F pens
Lupron
Menopur
Novarel
Estridiol pills
Progestrone-PIO shots
Lots and lots of needles!
There are 8 more days until I go in for baseline blood work and an ultrasound. I can't believe how quickly the time passed, but I am thankful for that. I remember thinking, when we met with our RE a month and a half ago that this would take so long to come... but it's just around the corner. I've been keeping busy and I know that is helping keep my mind occupied and it aids in the passing of time.
I am looking forward to the Superbowl this evening and I hope my Patriots kick some butt!
PS. I have 40 followers... um, way to put a smile on my face ladies! :)
We have:
2 Gonal-F pens
Lupron
Menopur
Novarel
Estridiol pills
Progestrone-PIO shots
Lots and lots of needles!
There are 8 more days until I go in for baseline blood work and an ultrasound. I can't believe how quickly the time passed, but I am thankful for that. I remember thinking, when we met with our RE a month and a half ago that this would take so long to come... but it's just around the corner. I've been keeping busy and I know that is helping keep my mind occupied and it aids in the passing of time.
I am looking forward to the Superbowl this evening and I hope my Patriots kick some butt!
PS. I have 40 followers... um, way to put a smile on my face ladies! :)
Monday, January 30, 2012
Unmotivated but Excited...
I've been feeling super lazy lately. I don't have the motivation to do much these days. I come home from work completely wiped out from the class that I have this year! I can't even muster up the energy to go on the internet and visit my favorite sites. I'm feeling tired and just plain blah.
However, I am getting excited about our upcoming IVF! We got the call today about our meds, and while we don't need to start them for another 2 weeks I'd rather have them here in time instead of worrying if they'll get here on time. $1200 later we were told they would be on their way this Wednesday.
Today I found myself thinking about baby names and saying "our baby" to myself while at work. I feel like so much of the disappointment we experience month after month has pushed back the thinking I used to do about us a family when we have kids. I used to think about what we'd do and how I'd like to plan our weekly activities. I thought about baby names and nursery decor and somewhere along the line of this journey I haven't let myself do much thinking about all of this. I wonder if that makes my body think I want this any less.... I don't even know that makes sense or if it is possible for your body to react to what you think.
I've thought about how to describe this horrible thing we're going through to people who don't know IRL that we're going through IF. I can't seem to figure out a way to explain the true pain, the desire. and the fear that comes with every single day of this. I can't find a way to put it together in one solid paragraph, rather it comes out in pages that could make up a book. I know that some people will never try to understand or just won't be able to grasp the emotional toll that this can take on a couple, but it doesn't change the fact that I want to try with all my being to get the message across
However, I am getting excited about our upcoming IVF! We got the call today about our meds, and while we don't need to start them for another 2 weeks I'd rather have them here in time instead of worrying if they'll get here on time. $1200 later we were told they would be on their way this Wednesday.
Today I found myself thinking about baby names and saying "our baby" to myself while at work. I feel like so much of the disappointment we experience month after month has pushed back the thinking I used to do about us a family when we have kids. I used to think about what we'd do and how I'd like to plan our weekly activities. I thought about baby names and nursery decor and somewhere along the line of this journey I haven't let myself do much thinking about all of this. I wonder if that makes my body think I want this any less.... I don't even know that makes sense or if it is possible for your body to react to what you think.
I've thought about how to describe this horrible thing we're going through to people who don't know IRL that we're going through IF. I can't seem to figure out a way to explain the true pain, the desire. and the fear that comes with every single day of this. I can't find a way to put it together in one solid paragraph, rather it comes out in pages that could make up a book. I know that some people will never try to understand or just won't be able to grasp the emotional toll that this can take on a couple, but it doesn't change the fact that I want to try with all my being to get the message across
Monday, December 12, 2011
We pulled the trigger...
First, I just want to say thank you for your kind words on my post yesterday. I appreciate your thoughts and your taking the time to let me know that we'll be ok.... because we will be.
Update about the injection pen- JT made some phone calls to the business that our RE told him to and he got us a free pen! They took down the info for the pen we had because something was clearly wrong with it. Now, we have a fresh pen, chilling out in the fridge and I hope that we don't have to use it!
Last night I was trying to figure out the best timing for our trigger since JT is due to be in for 11 to do his part and our IUI is at12pm on Tuesday. I expected the procedure to be first thing in the morning. On one hand I am real happy that it isn't first thing in the morning because it will be nice to sleep just a bit longer in the morning since I'm not going to work. On the other hand I would love to get it done first thing! I'm scared about ovulating early.
At 9pm last night we did the trigger shot. The needle seemed a tad thicker than other needles we were using but luckily there was no major bleeding. Hubs wanted to help me out by "getting the shot over with" which meant pushing the syringe quickly. All I have to say is ow! I immediately told him to slow down because it hurt! There was pressure, and burning and it was just uncomfortable! He felt badly because, like I said, he just wanted to get it over with because he doesn't like seeing me go through this.
As the night went on I definitely felt some twinging and I felt some bloating happening. Today I feel like a whale! I just want to wear yoga pants all day long. Plus, I feel like I always have to pee... that must be my uterus pushing on my bladder.
So, tomorrow I'll be wearing my lucky socks and carrying my lucky trinkets in my purse! Keep your fingers crossed for us!
Update about the injection pen- JT made some phone calls to the business that our RE told him to and he got us a free pen! They took down the info for the pen we had because something was clearly wrong with it. Now, we have a fresh pen, chilling out in the fridge and I hope that we don't have to use it!
***
At 9pm last night we did the trigger shot. The needle seemed a tad thicker than other needles we were using but luckily there was no major bleeding. Hubs wanted to help me out by "getting the shot over with" which meant pushing the syringe quickly. All I have to say is ow! I immediately told him to slow down because it hurt! There was pressure, and burning and it was just uncomfortable! He felt badly because, like I said, he just wanted to get it over with because he doesn't like seeing me go through this.
As the night went on I definitely felt some twinging and I felt some bloating happening. Today I feel like a whale! I just want to wear yoga pants all day long. Plus, I feel like I always have to pee... that must be my uterus pushing on my bladder.
So, tomorrow I'll be wearing my lucky socks and carrying my lucky trinkets in my purse! Keep your fingers crossed for us!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Too many emotions
Last night we had trouble with our Gonal-F pen. It wasn't working the way it should have and my husband was getting stressed, and well, so was I. I told him to not worry about it at that moment. I was hitting my wall with this whole thing and couldn't think about what would happen if we didn't get this injection to work.
I called a nurse from our fertility pharmacy to ask what we should do. When I called I got an answering service so I had to wait for her to call back. During that time I felt my insides falling apart. By that, I mean my emotions. I had felt so hopeful and good about this cycle and here were were, days from our first IUI, and it looked like we would most likely miss an injection. I couldn't believe it.
When the nurse from the pharmacy did call back I had to have JT talk to her. I was so completely frustrated and overwhelmed that there was no way I would be able to talk to her in a clam fashion, while making any sense. Shortly later the phone rang again and JT talked to a doctor from our fertility office. The Dr. assured JT that missing one dose when we would mostly likely be giving the trigger shot the next day wouldn't make a difference for the outcome of our cycle. I sure hope she is right.
JT was angry because we pay out of pocket and we paid a pretty penny for that injection pen and we' have several different issues with it. We tried to get an insulin needle so that we could pull out the meds from the outside but everything in our area closes so damn early that by the time we thought to do this, it was too late.
We got the call today and we will be triggering tonight. I am trying to get back to that hopeful, happy, "this is it" feeling but I'm struggling to get there.
I called a nurse from our fertility pharmacy to ask what we should do. When I called I got an answering service so I had to wait for her to call back. During that time I felt my insides falling apart. By that, I mean my emotions. I had felt so hopeful and good about this cycle and here were were, days from our first IUI, and it looked like we would most likely miss an injection. I couldn't believe it.
When the nurse from the pharmacy did call back I had to have JT talk to her. I was so completely frustrated and overwhelmed that there was no way I would be able to talk to her in a clam fashion, while making any sense. Shortly later the phone rang again and JT talked to a doctor from our fertility office. The Dr. assured JT that missing one dose when we would mostly likely be giving the trigger shot the next day wouldn't make a difference for the outcome of our cycle. I sure hope she is right.
JT was angry because we pay out of pocket and we paid a pretty penny for that injection pen and we' have several different issues with it. We tried to get an insulin needle so that we could pull out the meds from the outside but everything in our area closes so damn early that by the time we thought to do this, it was too late.
We got the call today and we will be triggering tonight. I am trying to get back to that hopeful, happy, "this is it" feeling but I'm struggling to get there.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
I'm a pin cushion
Day 3- Tuesday
The Shot: We have a routine now and tonight went really well.
How did it feel? Just a pinch.
Side effects: Some soreness on my belly from the previous shots, but nothing out of control. And... um, my poop is dark brown...?
Limitations: None.
Day 4- Wednesday
The Shot: I had to leave a holiday party to come home and do this... that felt weird to me but that's just how it is for us now.
How did it feel? JT is getting much better at keeping a steady hand! I didn't even feel it tonight!
Side effects: I've never been a regular pooper (TMI- I know, so skip if you don't want to know about my bowel movements) but now... I've got a regular pooping schedule... is this related at all?
Limitations: None.
Day 5-Thursday
The Shot: My mom did it for me tonight. JT was out of the house with our dog because I was having one of those jewelry parties. We had an issue with the pen not clicking all the way, finally, we got it after the second poke!
How did it feel? It bled more than it has since the first time, but it didn't hurt any more than normal.
Side effects: I'm super bloated today and don't want to wear anything but yoga pants!
Limitations: None.
Day 6- Friday
The Shot: We almost forgot. We were hanging out, relaxing after a long day and then I looked at the time and was like "HEY! let's go do my shot!"
How did it feel? Fine. We're becoming pros now!
Side effects: Still bloated, still have dark brown poop...
Limitations: None.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Gonal-F Injections so far...
Day 1- (Thank you EndoJourney for this set up)
The Shot: We were told do to our shot between 6 and 8 pm. We decided to do 7pm consistently every night.
After viewing the video and laying out all of our supplies on the kitchen counter we were ready to begin... only we weren't. The pen was a lot harder to move around than we thought it would be. You have to turn a dial one way, pull out the white tube and make sure everything is lined up. We were getting frustrated and overwhelmed... of course. So I viewed the online video again while JT read the directions that came with the injections once more. We finally figured it out and after about 20 minutes we were ready. Then hubs got to stab me. :)
How did it feel? It pinched more than I thought it would. I guess thinking about my stomach I imagined it being more cushy and less sensitive... dumb, but whatever. Once it was in and we held it there for 5 seconds it was as if we didn't even do anything.
Side effects: Not much bleeding and I didn't feel anything once we were done with the shot. However, about 20 minutes later I felt twinging in my abdomen... almost like something was going on in my ovaries... hmmm?
Limitations: None.
Day 2
The Shot: After last night JT knew exactly what to do. He set up everything on our counter again and called me in for my shot. I love that he does them for me. I enjoy having him a part of this process because I'm doing so much for my body and all we really need from his body is the man juice. I think he really likes being a part of the process too.
Today went way better than last night!
How did it feel? JT injected the shot on the left side tonight. While we waited the 5 seconds it felt like forever and I could feel the needle moving around. I need to remind JT to have a steady hand tonight!
Side effects: A little more bleeding than yesterday, but not much. Just like last night, about 20 minutes later I felt twinging in my abdomen. Today the injection site felt sore.
Limitations: None.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Buying the Meds
I got a phone call on my cell phone at work from an unknown number. I hate when I don't know who is calling so I pick it up even though I can't talk. It is Freedom Fertility and they want to talk about my meds. Well, I was feeling kind of crazy and knew I wouldn't be able to pay attention so I took down their number and called later on when I got home.
Our RE had send in our RX for Gonal-F 450, Ovidrel, and progesterone suppositories (fun!). I didn't tell her that I hadn't even started CD1 yet so I didn't know if I should get the meds or not but then I realized I would create more of a problem for us if I didn't get the meds- because with my luck, if I said we'd wait for the meds then I would get AF right after I got off the phone with her and who knows what would happen.
Anyway, I gave her my info and our credit card number over the phone. $670 later I hung up the phone.
This is just crazy to me. I never in my wildest dreams imagined I would spend money like to this to TRY and have a baby since there is no guarantee! Stupid IF!
Anyone have experience with Freedom Fertility? I am just wondering because it seems that our RE will be using them and I want to know if there is anything we should know now instead of learn later. From my online searching I can't find anything "bad" about them but I like to hear personal experiences, so you know, I ask you!
Our RE had send in our RX for Gonal-F 450, Ovidrel, and progesterone suppositories (fun!). I didn't tell her that I hadn't even started CD1 yet so I didn't know if I should get the meds or not but then I realized I would create more of a problem for us if I didn't get the meds- because with my luck, if I said we'd wait for the meds then I would get AF right after I got off the phone with her and who knows what would happen.
Anyway, I gave her my info and our credit card number over the phone. $670 later I hung up the phone.
This is just crazy to me. I never in my wildest dreams imagined I would spend money like to this to TRY and have a baby since there is no guarantee! Stupid IF!
Anyone have experience with Freedom Fertility? I am just wondering because it seems that our RE will be using them and I want to know if there is anything we should know now instead of learn later. From my online searching I can't find anything "bad" about them but I like to hear personal experiences, so you know, I ask you!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Giant pads are not sexy
Since I've been on this vaginal Progesterone suppository I've ruined a good number of my underwear... some old some brand new. I've tried using panty liners to block the waxy, greasy substance but that just wasn't working so I had to turn to the thin, overnight, extra long pads. Now, this may be TMI, but I don't care, I'm not that private of a person anyway, I hate pads and never wear them. The panty liner is the closest I get to a pad.... but in order to save some money on the underwear front I've decided to spend the money on these uber sexy pads.
JT and I see the doctor on Friday. I am anxious to see what she says and what our next steps will be. Well, I am sure I know what they will be, but I am eager to get the ball rolling and to get a move on so I can have a baby in my belly.
I have to admit I have a good feeling about things turning around for us. I can't describe it, but I just have this feeling that things are going to work out for us soon and I can't tell you how happy that makes me.
JT and I see the doctor on Friday. I am anxious to see what she says and what our next steps will be. Well, I am sure I know what they will be, but I am eager to get the ball rolling and to get a move on so I can have a baby in my belly.
I have to admit I have a good feeling about things turning around for us. I can't describe it, but I just have this feeling that things are going to work out for us soon and I can't tell you how happy that makes me.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Waiting....
I started the progesterone as soon as it came up on my chart that I ovulated on Day 13. It is messy and annoying, but I'll do whatever I can to help us to achieve our baby.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
CD 21 test results
My progesterone level came back at a 15 which is good- according to my doctor. Since this level came back normal we can point the finger to endometriosis for the madness that is happening in my uterus. I have really bad lower back pains, clotty periods, terrible cramps and fatigue.
My OB is having me take progesterone from the day I ovulate until the day I am supposed to get my period. Progesterone has been said to help endometriosis. Maybe this will help us. I sure hope so! On the day that I am supposed to get my period I would test. If it comes back positive I would continue with the progesterone. If it comes back negative I would stop and let myself bleed and start up a new cycle.
I got AF on Friday, so we are no officially in cycle number 9. I never thought we'd get this far. I love the number 3 and 3 times 3 is nine, so maybe this is our lucky cycle.
My OB is having me take progesterone from the day I ovulate until the day I am supposed to get my period. Progesterone has been said to help endometriosis. Maybe this will help us. I sure hope so! On the day that I am supposed to get my period I would test. If it comes back positive I would continue with the progesterone. If it comes back negative I would stop and let myself bleed and start up a new cycle.
I got AF on Friday, so we are no officially in cycle number 9. I never thought we'd get this far. I love the number 3 and 3 times 3 is nine, so maybe this is our lucky cycle.
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