The 2nd Biggest Check I've Ever Written

Back in November I wrote about the biggest check I've ever written.  Today, I write about the second biggest check.  The $6800 check to pay for our IVF cycle and the necessary paperwork has been filled out and sent.  I can't believe we are doing this!

I've been doing lots of reading and learning from all you amazing bloggers, tweeters, and bumpers.  There is so much to learn and while I understand that everyone's experience is so different  still find comfort in learning, and reading about your journeys.

Now, we wait for the call from the pharmacy. I am curious to see how much this will run us.  We've calculated about 2 grand.  I'm really hoping it is less than that and I am also hoping for a BFP!!!

Work is getting in the way of my life

Lately, I'm having a hard time doing my job and doing it well.  I've been feeling this way since the start of the school year.  My head just isn't in the game.  I'm constantly thinking of what we are dealing with and what I can do to make the odds better for us so that we can finally have our baby.  I can't focus and I feel bad about it.  I just don't want to work. I'm too distracted to be there.  Yesterday I was thinking how work was getting in the way of my life and then I laughed at myself because work is the reason I can do anything in life.  Without work there would be no pay check and with no paycheck there would be no gas in my car, no food on the table... you get the picture.

Basically I just need to win the lottery.

We have figured out a way to get the money we need without paying such a big finance fee.  It is in the midst of being finalized so I am still feeling uneasy.  I know I won't feel OK until a check is sent to our clinic and our bill is paid so we can start the cycle.  I hope then I'll be able to sleep again.  I've been tossing and turning and waking up right at 3 or 4 am every single morning and not being able to go back to sleep.  That makes for one tired teacher who doesn't have patience to deal with her 4th graders.  No good.

My husband and I are headed to the Patriots Playoff game tonight.  I am so excited to go tailgating and to be able to have fun and just forget about our troubles for an evening.  I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

A new plan and a new amount of stress

We met with our RE today and discussed what we learned about my response to stims with the IUI we did.  I had written down a list of questions to make sure I got everything answered before we left.  As he was talking to us and explaining how the IVF works he answered most of them.  I only had to ask a few additional questions before we were wrapping our conversation and going over the paper work that comes along with an IVF cycle.

We had in our mind that we would work with this finance company to get the loan we needed so we proceeded to meet and talk about our cycle and how it would work.  I know that I've felt overwhelmed with what I've been reading on blogs and how many meds are involved but the nurses and doctors are really with us every step of the way and I have to remember that!

We got home and went to fill out the necessary application for this loan and it turns out that the processing fee is much more than we thought it would be.  There was no way of knowing what it would be until we finished the application.... so, now JT is completely stressed out and doesn't know what to do.  $950 processing fee is just crazy and a lot of money on top of the $9000 we are asking for.

I hate that money has to be an issue... in fact, I hate that we don't' get any insurance coverage at all.... it would make things a little less stressful-well a lot less!

I would go in on CD 22 for baseline blood-work -which would be next Weds. hopefully we can figure out the money situation by this weekend so we can move forward with the IVF cycle for the month of February... if not we'll have to wait until the next CD 22 to begin.

I'll get into the meds and the kind of cycle we are doing once I know where we stand with the finances.