Things that make my husband laugh at me

A few weeks I read a post by Scrambled Eggs about poop and what happens to your body during  IVF- more specifically after the egg retrieval.  I commented about how I wasn't looking forward to this.  I planned ahead to take stool softeners the day of the transfer and continue taking regular doses.  I thought I could beat the poop at this game.  Boy, was I wrong.

Night before retrieval- I pooped multiple times... they are called anxiety shits.  Yes, I had them into the wee hours of the morning.  I was relieved by this because I figured great, I just got it all out so I won't have to worry too much about it tomorrow!

Retrieval day- I took my stool softeners and waited for the moment to hit.  It came and wasn't so bad. I had learned that I just needed to relax and it would happen.  You have to understand that after a retrieval pushing down like you normally would is not an option! I thought Hey- I am winning this game!

Day after retrieval- Poop wins this game big time.  I felt so big and filled with either gas or poop- or both-I didn't know which.  I told my husband I would do anything to blow a huge ball of gas out of my ass that very moment.  He died of laughter and almost fell off the couch. It took three trips to the bathroom... just sitting there, waiting, trying to relax my butt so the poop would come.  After the first 10 minute trip my husband stared at me after I whined that nothing came out.  He couldn't believe I was in there for that long and had no success! Again, he started laughing and I told him it wasn't funny! I tried to tell him that if I pushed too hard it felt like my uterus would come out my ass, to which he replied - could never happen.  Yes, I know this, but that was the way it felt! The second trip to the bathroom was much like the first. Finally, on the third trip I was successful, but it wasn't satisfying, if you know what I mean.

Yesterday I kept complaining that I just needed to pass gas and how I wished it would just come out without hurting me!  Again, husband laughed at me.

Last night, I got up 3 times to poop... I guess I over did it on the stool softeners yesterday! ;-)

So there you have it folks. As gross as you may think it is, if you are considering or currently going through IVF injects beware: this will happen to you!

Bringing Sexy Back

It is no secret that while dealing with IF stuff your sex life (the one thing you thought would be fun when trying to bring a baby into the world) goes down the drain.  Getting jiggy with it is based on ovulation sticks and cervical fluid or the night of your trigger shot.  I don't know about you... but for us the whole spontaneous I-can't-keep-my-hands-off-of-you passion has fizzled from our bedroom and become a memory.  Last cycle I felt so gross while being on the injections and then the progesterone.  I was so bloated and felt like a whale, there was no way I was in the mood for anything besides hopping into my yoga pants the second I entered the door after work.

Now that we have this month "off" I plan to get back in action.  I posted yesterday that I missed running and I decided that I will go a few times a week until it's time for our next medicated cycle..  My first run since Nov 6 will be this Thursday. I. Can't. Wait.  This will be great because it will help me feel like I'm getting my body back.  I still feel a tad bloated from AF so I am hoping I can run off something- or at least I can trick my mind into thinking so.

Over the weekend I was at the mall enjoying some retail therapy while spending gift cards and well beyond that- that's a story for another day- but I ventured into Victoria's Secret and ended up spending 160 bucks on new underwear and a sexy little something! Yikes!  I told my husband two nights ago that this weekend I plan on laying out all of the sexy little somethings I have from over the years and letting him choose a few he wants me to wear because not only does that help me feel sexy but it brings me back to the days where I would slip on something because it felt adventurous-fun and an act of love.  Back in the day when sex was something we did because it felt good and we could be together in a way that was so special and not simply because it was an end to a means-baby.

I am ready for a week of new underwear and some fun sex because it's been far too long....

And that, my friends, is how I plan on bringing sexy back.

Giant pads are not sexy

Since I've been on this vaginal Progesterone suppository I've ruined a good number of my underwear... some old some brand new.  I've tried using panty liners to block the waxy, greasy substance but that just wasn't working so I had to turn to the thin, overnight, extra long pads.  Now, this may be TMI, but I don't care, I'm not that private of a person anyway, I hate pads and never wear them.  The panty liner is the closest I get to a pad.... but in order to save some money on the underwear front I've decided to spend the money on these uber sexy pads.

JT and I see the doctor on Friday. I am anxious to see what she says and what our next steps will be.  Well, I am sure I know what they will be, but I am eager to get the ball rolling and to get a move on so I can have a baby in my belly.

I have to admit I have a good feeling about things turning around for us. I can't describe it, but I just have this feeling that things are going to work out for us soon and I can't tell you how happy that makes me.