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Day 18 - Besides Mothers Day, what is the hardest holiday for you as an infertile?
The hardest holiday has to be Christmas because we start thinking about it right after Thanksgiving. I see my friends cute pictures of their little ones making ginger bread houses or their first picture with Santa. I see my nephew and niece all dressed up in matching holiday outfits and all I can think about is the idea that we should have a baby already and we should be enjoying this holiday as parents.
Day 19 - Write a letter (one that you never have to send) to a fertile in your life. Did they hurt you? Support you? Tell them how you feel, all the things you can’t bring yourself to say in person.
I've decided to remove this.
Day 20 - Discuss how you found your way into the ALI community, and what being part of it has meant to you – good and bad.
Day 21 - If you had gotten pregnant that first month you started trying, how would you have been a different parent? What changes have you made to your parenting style (either current or future) in the time you spent trying to conceive?
Day 22 - What was the first baby or pregnancy-related purchase you ever made? Was it before or after you started trying to conceive? Or was it after you were already pregnant? Why did you choose that particular item to buy first? If you haven’t purchased anything yet, why not?
Day 23 - Talk about how you chose your RE.
Day 24 - If a very observant stranger were to walk into your house, what clues could lead them to believe that you have struggled with infertility?
Day 25 - Have you ever bonded with someone IRL over infertility?
Day 26 - Were you the product of infertility? Was anyone you know the product of infertility? How do you know? Or do you just suspect based on circumstances like age differences between siblings, time between marriage and conception, etc.
Day 27 - Talk about a time when you made someone in your life understand more about infertility.
So... apparently I'm a super slacker at this. I've done 30 day challenges before and have been able to keep up with them, but this time, not so much. Oh well. It is what it is.
Day 18 - Besides Mothers Day, what is the hardest holiday for you as an infertile?
The hardest holiday has to be Christmas because we start thinking about it right after Thanksgiving. I see my friends cute pictures of their little ones making ginger bread houses or their first picture with Santa. I see my nephew and niece all dressed up in matching holiday outfits and all I can think about is the idea that we should have a baby already and we should be enjoying this holiday as parents.
Day 19 - Write a letter (one that you never have to send) to a fertile in your life. Did they hurt you? Support you? Tell them how you feel, all the things you can’t bring yourself to say in person.
I've decided to remove this.
Day 20 - Discuss how you found your way into the ALI community, and what being part of it has meant to you – good and bad.
Way back when JT and I were engaged I used to spend HOURS on TheKnot or TK as we called it. When we started talking about trying I made my way to the TheBump and started posting on the trying to get pregnant board. Eventually we realized that this was not going to come easy for us so I moved my way over to the trouble trying to conceive board or 3T as we call it and I've been posting there for almost a year. The girls there are amazing and so supportive and kind. I love being reminded that we are not the only ones going through it.
I started reading blogs that were posted into the signatures on 3T and decided to finally share this blog. I started writing in this blog a few months before we started trying because it was going to be our family blog. Little did we know at the time that it would be difficult to get pregnant. This became the place where I dumped my thoughts and feelings into. Once I started sharing this with other IF bloggers I branched over to Twitter.
Sometimes though, I need a break from it all- the blogs, the boards, and twitter. Sometimes I don't want to talk about it or think about it so I stray away and regroup. No matter what I end up finding my way back and there is no judgement about how long I've been away for. It seems everyone "gets" it. I am so thankful for all of you!
Day 21 - If you had gotten pregnant that first month you started trying, how would you have been a different parent? What changes have you made to your parenting style (either current or future) in the time you spent trying to conceive?
I don't know that I would be a completely different parent. I still hold the things JT and I value very close to me. If anything we've just had more time to refine those values and to think about what is important to us as a family. I've always thought about how important family time is and after going through all of this I know we'll keep family time on the front burner forever.
Day 22 - What was the first baby or pregnancy-related purchase you ever made? Was it before or after you started trying to conceive? Or was it after you were already pregnant? Why did you choose that particular item to buy first? If you haven’t purchased anything yet, why not?
I received some books from a friend right before we started to try and then bought some books at a closing book store after we were already trying. I bought a Red Sox bib after we started trying and that was the last thing I've purchased. I never had a reason to think we needed something. It's just too painful.
Day 23 - Talk about how you chose your RE.
There are only 3 clinics in our region so we would have to travel about an hour to either place we selected. I had heard about our RE several different times and when I saw his face on the internet it just seemed like he was the one we should be seeing. After our first meeting we felt comfortable and trusted him instantly.
Day 24 - If a very observant stranger were to walk into your house, what clues could lead them to believe that you have struggled with infertility?
They would see the injection container sitting on our counter. My huge bottles of vitamins and prenatals. Upstairs in the second bedroom they would see a basinet my brother-in-law gave us.
Yes, but I think it became too painful for my friend and we've stopped talking about infertility in the past few months. I miss the connection of a real person to talk to.
Day 26 - Were you the product of infertility? Was anyone you know the product of infertility? How do you know? Or do you just suspect based on circumstances like age differences between siblings, time between marriage and conception, etc.
No. My mother got pregnant with me on accident and never had an issue getting pregnant with my sister. I do have aunts and uncles who have decided to live child free, I know that one of the couples decided to on their own but do not know about the other couple. My aunt on my dad's side had multiple miscarriages before having my first cousin. That is all know.
I think my closest friends have been able to see the pain and the hope and the sadness that comes with infertility but I don't know that they can understand it more. It is a lonely thing to go through.
It's great to have prompts to use when talking about IF. It really gives you things to think about and answer honestly.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing.
MissC
My mom got pregnant with me while using two forms of birth control. Oh and my dad was considered to be infertile with a really low sperm count. UGH! Some folks have all the luck.
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