Monday, March 28, 2011

No more baby showers for me...

I went to a baby shower yesterday for a friend who lives out of state. I knew I wanted to go to see her and wish her well since there wouldn't be a chance for me to see her after she had the baby.  I had some feelings that I shouldn't go... but I ignored them and went anyway.

I wish I didn't go... or maybe, I wish I left earlier than I did.

I don't mind being around cute babies and kiddos but being around the new baby stuff and pregnant women just isn't good for me.  I want to be the one with big belly. I want to be the one who is glowing and all happy and excited for the journey ahead of us.

I am glad that March has flown by. It has passed through my mind several times about the fact that we are now entering months in which we could have had a baby had we gotten pregnant during the first few months we tried. Blah.

I was in a foul mood last night and woke up in an even more horrible mood.  There is so much I want to do and so much I want to experience but it seems like nothing is working the way I had hoped.

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